It’s been a while since I’ve written in this journal. I am not the best blogger, I guess. I’ve been trying to keep the crazy4dyeing blog just professional, but it has not been quite so successful. I will move over the pictures of Hawaii to this location, and try to keep my internal promise to myself. I am also planning on re-linking this blog to my Ravelry profile, since two links are not possible. I am not always the crazy4dyeing Ellie, and that’s what this blog is about.
K called us from Chicago last week, and put our grandson, M ( will be 4 in June) on the phone, and said: “I am going to be a big brother!” Needless to say, the news was greeted with great joy and happiness by all of us. K is my step-son. I’ve been married to his dad for almost 26 years, and K was only 6 when we got married. At the time, I knew nothing about being a mother. My birth mother died in childbirth when my brother was born, and then he married a few years later, so I had a stepmother, who clearly had very mixed feeling for my brother and I, sometimes it was love and sometimes it was hate, sometimes it was both. Anyway, that was the atmosphere where I learned about parenting. Not much in the way of good examples where witnessed. So when K would come to visit us, I was more like the wicked stepmother than the Fairy Godmother, and it wasn’t until I had my own first child that I understood the kind of love one feels for a child, and became more of a human being to K. Somehow, we have managed a loving relationship over the years, and he treats me with the utmost respect and love, which I don’t really deserve. I guess he doesn’t remember what an awful person I once was. That all just came out, so sorry for being maudlin.
Knitting is being planned for our new grandchild, and I will try to become more productive since I am on a two week hiatus from my current assignment. Since I am an Independent consultant ( a job that supports my fiber habits) it will be great fun to have two weeks with no obligations except my own.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and G gave me the most beautiful bouget of flowers, and he deliverd them in a secret fashion so that I was quite surprised when I saw them. Lately I’ve been secretly resenting taking care of everyone, cooking, cleaning etc. but the reason I do that is not because I have to but because I love them, and that reason sometimes get lost in the day to day obligations that have become our daily habits. So it was a good time to reflect on life in general, I guess that’s where all these words are pouring out from. I am a very lucky person, I have a wonderful life and I am greatful that I have a family that loves me, and whom I love. Not everyone is so lucky.